In addition to going out more and trying to meet new people, I think I should also consider the contacts that I already have. I’ve mentioned somewhere that I work in marketing, and the golden rules that are valid there also apply here. Generating brand-new sales leads costs usually more than using your existing databases… So here comes the next step of getting to know more “dating potential”.

Dating Strategy #2

• I will check out my circle of friends for new contacts.

Don’t get me wrong—I don’t think I’ve overlooked some “good dating material” in my current circle of friends and acquaintances, in the office (yeah, definitely NOT there, trust me!) or the gym. But of course I don’t know all of the nice friends, brothers, cousins and co-workers that the people I know might have. I mean technically the nicest guy out there could be somehow connected to my friends, and I just don’t know.

So the question is how to find out. I could:

• join people from the office for a coffee (or tea for me) or lunch and casually ask about their friends and family.

BUT: I work in an IT company, and many of my colleagues are guys, many of them tech nerds. While some of them might carry pictures of their bikes, cars, home movie theaters, technical equipment, twitter followers, wine collections, pool tables, boats, houses, ex-girlfriends, girlfriends, wives, children (in that order!) in their wallets, NONE of them has the decency to bring the really interesting stuff to the table—pictures and basic facts about all the single men in their families and wider circle of friends and contacts. That’s really disappointing.

To be fair, I have to add that most of the girls in the office aren’t much better. They rant about other girls in the office, their boyfriends or their husbands—none of whom I consider “dating material”.

I could:

• hand out forms to all friends and acquaintances to fill in and to return to me within a week, asking them to provide information about the single men they know.

But I guess that would be a little too obvious. Plus, most of them wouldn’t want to take the time to write that short essay on “Five good reasons my friend would be a perfect match for Maya”.

So the best idea seems to be to

• engage in activities with overlapping circles of friends.

I could suggest some kind of event or activity to a few of my friends and ask them to bring along some of their friends that I or the others don’t know yet. The less our circles of friends overlapped, the more new people we’d all get to know, especially if my friends and I would be the only intersection between them.

Of couse, I’ve already had numerous opportunities like this. I went geo-cashing with friends of mine, who invited their friends and colleagues, and half of them I had never met before. I also went to parties where the only person I knew was the host. And I went to singles parties with other single friends.

Not much success yet…
So far, I’ve met other nice women, but no single guys. OK, that’s not quite right, I’ve met single guys, but not anybody I was interested in. My girlfriend and I have also been hit on by two guys in their early twenties, which was kind of cute, but after that my friend and I decided to call it a night and go home, before starting to feel old.

…but maybe soon
I still think that meeting a friend of a friend would be a good start, especially since this gives you the chance to take a second and third look before you decide. Of course, finding Mr. Right with this Overlapping-Circle-of-Friends technique might be a slow process, but it is at least worth a try. And it includes a lot of fun activites that I like anyway, such as hiking, going to the beach, cooking dinner or barbecuing with friends and whatnot.

On a second thought, maybe I shouldn’t suggest going to the beach any time soon. Have to get in bikini shape first! Oh man, now the Taking-It-Serious approach is practically forcing me into a series of “Mid Year’s resolutions”….

Continued here.

[Picture: © Lenssen Media, mayasplace.com]