I’ve been thinking about this: Why is it that we do anything we can to get a job, but not half as much to find a serious relationship? When I want a new job, I am pretty well organized, scan job ads regularly, prepare excellent resumes and cover letters, make sure to adapt those for each and every individual job and company, think about different strategies, use my network of contacts to get the word out, etc. With finding Mr. Right—which doesn’t mean Mr. Perfect, just someone who is “right” for me—I seem to think that HE just has to find ME. Well, guess what? That hasn’t worked out yet.

I have come to the conclusion that I might have to at least help Mr. Right a little, because how should he be able to find me, if I’m in the office most of the day and if I’m not exactly the type that would throw herself onto complete strangers?

What is important in my life?
With all the things that are important to me in my life, I have never thought that my job comes first. I think that would actually be a relationship and my family. Then friends, health, doing OK financially. Then a job that I like and that I’m good at, appreciation of what I do. I like other things too, such as traveling, but I do realize that these are part of the luxuries that I enjoy.

So I’ve decided that I will make more of an effort to find Mr. Right. My first step is a picture, something I scribbled and that reflects my ideas on how to get started. I am pretty visual, so it does help me to see my options in a chart, picture, map or whatever you want to call it. I know this may look odd to some, but hey, in the office, I would start like that and then write To Do lists. :-)

Plan A: Strategies for finding Mr. Right
OK, so here are my thoughts and strategies. I’m not saying they are complete, new or unique, they’re just what I feel is OK for me. Feel free to share your own strategies and ideas via the comments. By the way, some ideas are marked with question marks, as I’m not sure I want to actually proceed with those (yet). I’m calling this “Plan A”, just to remind myself that this is actually a top priority.

In general, I’ve realized that I have too few opportunities for actually meeting someone new. So I need to go out more. Plus, I need to at least seize every opportunity I already have.

Dating Strategy #1

• I will go out more.

And I mean both nightlife and just every-day stuff. On weekends, I’ll hang out with girlfriends, and I’ll encourage them to try new locations. I won’t go out just by myself, that just looks too desperate to me.

Going out with singles of the opposite sex is not a good idea
I used to hang out with some of my single male friends, but that seems to send the wrong signals, and you just cannot wear a T-shirt that says,

“This guy and I are JUST friends, and if you think I’m cute, just talk to me, he won’t beat you up.
P.S.: If you’re a cool chick, my friend here would love to talk with you, and I swear I won’t make a scene either.”

They don’t have T-shirts like this. I’ve thought about printing one, but with all that text, I would need to wear a very large T-shirt, more like a tent, and that wouldn’t help. It would get me some attention, but not the right kind. Or I would have to print this in very small print, and then the readers would have to get pretty close, and if they already were that close, I could just as well just talk with them. And there might be some, and that would probably the majority, who I wouldn’t want to even ask for the time, because they are so creepy or drunk or brainless or all of the above, and they would use the small print T-shirt as an excuse for getting really close. So the T-shirt is not a good idea. And that’s why going out with single friends of the opposite sex is not the best idea either.

… Continued here …

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